I would never marry you!
by ChoccoTsundere
Summary: Kaito was spending his summer vacation at a normal, small house so the paparazzi won't follow him. Yet one day his worst enemy, Miku annonced on INTERNATIONAL TV that they are both engaged.
1. I just personally ruined my career

**Just thought of this on my vacation anyways probably gonna update by tomorrow anyways enjoy3**

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"Darling do you want to get hit on the face?" Miku, the stupid diva said.

"Oh honey of course not … unless you want me to tug on your bratty hair."

Well it's not good if I start this story from the middle so I'll show you the start.

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TIME MACHINES ROCK!

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"Ms. Shion is Kaito here?"

"Oh, good morning Meiko he's right upstairs."

"Thank you."

Well today was a sunny Friday and like any other Friday I was on my laptop…well at least before my biggest crush and bestest friend, Meiko knocked on my door.

"Kaito, are you there?"

"Who is it?"

"It's me Meiko."

I nearly spitted out all my orange juice but forced myself not to because my room would be dirtied.

"In a minute please."

I quickly threw all the empty juice boxes I had scattered on the floor, put on some neat clothes, brushed my teeth and opened the door for Meiko.

"Good morning Kaito."

"Same to you."

"Congratulations, I heard the news!"

"What news?"

"It's on freaking international TV Bakaito!"

"What do you mean?"

"You're a freaking known star and you don't know?"

"Hey I'm on vacation!"

"So you don't really know that you got engaged to Miku?"

Okay this time I really spitted out my juice. I'm engaged to Miku…to Miku that bratty diva that always has to be a rank higher than me in the top charts Miku?

"Okay you know you can't troll me right?"

"Do I look like I'm trolling you?"

"Yes."

At the same time I heard my mom scream downstairs.

"Oh my gosh Kaito Shion get your butt down here!"

"Coming mother."

"Kaito explain yourself!" mother was pointing to the TV which is featuring Miku talking about our so called engagement.

"Mom that isn't true! Maybe the company wanted us to do it or they're just pranking us! But trust me I didn't agree to this!"

"Then what's that on your finger?"

On my finger was an aquamarine colored ring…an aquamarine colored ring…AN AQUAMARINE COLORED RING!

"What the fuuuuu!"

I quickly threw the ring to the floor and it rolled away. I turned to see the TV and then I saw it. Live on international TV was me at my normal, small house looking at the TV.

"Oh my CRUD!"

That's it my career's over. I was mentally bashing my head against the wall while in real life I face palmed. It's all thanks to Miku.


	2. We boardin' on a choppy with Kiyo!

**Anyways as promised chappy 2 is out today yeah... I have no life anyways it's short don't blame I have a flight going home tomorrow and we'll take a pit stop at Dubai also did last time any ways I might be able to right a chapter...don't worry I have 5 hours there 'kay?**

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"Ah shall we move out master?" said Kiyoteru or Kiyo for short, our butler

"Please call a helicopter Kiyo and head for Crypton studios."

A second later my house was engulfed by a million paparazzi while my private heli arrived.

"Everyone get in the helicopter you too Meiko and Kiyo please call Miki."

Miki was my maid and personal assistant. She gives me vocal lessons, though I don't need them but she insists on doing so. She also kinda helps Crypton write my songs and choreographs some of my videos. She's also one of the best singers I've ever met when I was a kid.

"Dude, are you always this leaderly or are you finally getting some smarts into your brain?"

"Shaddap Meiko… Oh wait that was a compliment so go on."

"Sheesh you really are and always be a Bakaito."

"Go on… oh wait! That wasn't a compliment! Take it back, take it back!" I said while whining

"Argh when you become too stupid to keep up with my brain I might actually befriend Miku!"

"Wait! Before we go I might actually need this." I said while picking up my fake engagement ring.

"Kiyo we're ready now start the helicopter!"

"Of course Master Kaito."

"Ugghhh stop being boring!"

Oh crud maybe he'll do that THING again and become the scary, creepy and unusually calm Kiyo.

"I'm not THAT boring Master Kaito." He said while holding my wrist… or rather slowly crushing my wrists while maintaining the evil mojo.

"Now please allow me to guide you and Miss Meiko to the copter."

"Yes please." Meiko said when I was supposed to say no.

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TIME SKIP!

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Ahhh we finally arrived to Crypton studios which apparently manages both me and Miku. They probably made that scandal up and somehow forced Miku into agreeing with it…

"They probably made that scandal to get higher ratings and of course, Miku would do anything to get higher ratings." I said with the last of my smartness.

"Well maybe you're spending too much time with Kiyo, now you're catching his smartness."

"Aww c'mon Meiko! Just accept that I'm not a 'Bakaito' anymore."

"You will never become smart and your tests are living proof!"

"But I don't have time to study!" I whined

"Miku gets straight A's!"

"Because she's a smarty-pants!"

"Anyways… I thought you wanted to talk with your manager?"

"Oh yeah!"

"You will and always will be a Bakaito." She muttered under her breath.

'…My Bakaito'

"Huh what was that Meiko?"

"N-Nothing now move!"

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**Haha surprise ending?**

**Anyways Will Kaito stop being a Bakaito? Was that house really small? and Was that ring really the correct shade of Miku's hair? **

**Now people those are all pretty... USELESS questions anyways please follow, fave and review!**


	3. Gakupo and Tenri the Daaaaarliiiing!

**Finally updated after like... 4 to 5 months. We lost internet for 2 months :( Anyways here comes my sappy fic :D**

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"But sir I didn't know that we were frigging engaged… we're only 18 and 16 sir!"

Anyways if you're wondering where the heck I am well I'm at my boss' office… with that pig that magically transformed into an actress/singer.

"Great 'cause that's marrying age."

"Sir that was before on ancient Japan."

Look our boss is really old fashioned… his name is Gakupo Bitchmui ahem… I meant Kamui. For some reasons he always wears purple, likes pig face more and is addicted to flirting with the pig's manager, Luka. One time when Gakupo ordered books online and had Luka bring it to him… I accidentally walked in on them. Luka panting wildly with Gakupo above her with… cum on his fingers. Made me mad for 6 friggin days!

"Look Kaito your ratings are going down and if yours go down so does this angel's"

"Wh-"

"If you were gonna ask why then it's because you do almost everything with her, duets, talk shows and movies."

"Can you at least tell me what happened, Shion?"

"Sir the paparazzi were everywhere and they caught me saying our engagement's fake…maybe you should have at least called me or left a note or something."

"Oh! but Kaito Mr. Kamui did leave a note at your drawer."

Ugggh I hate how that pig acts like a goody two shoes around Gakupo.

"Darling, Miku, Kaito was probably just texting random stuff on his Chirper and posting pics of him and his ice cream on FazeBook."

"I'm sorry sir. I'll clear everything and tell the press that it's true."

"No! Too much risk in that. We can't let you ruin our reputation even more. We'll have Miku do it."

I CAN'T BELIEVE EGGPLANT PLANT NOSE DOESN'T TRUST ME! MAKING MIKU DO IT IS WAY MOR HUMILIATING THAN BEING FIRED! Shhh… Calm down Kaito, You're better than Miku and you know it.

"Okay sir."

"Both of you are dismissed."

I saw Meiko waiting outside then suddenly I lit up. At least she actually cared for me. Man she looks good in that minisk-

"Hey ice cream freak move out of the way!"

Ugghh pigface finally got out of the office. Time to deal with her.

"Hey Tenri chaaan please remember to confront the press after this, DARLIIIING" I said imitating Gakupo like a boss.

"I think your impressions are worse than your acting freak."

"Anyways I'm going Hatsune! Take care of the press for me!"

I wasn't really in the mood 'cause I knew that this would be Pigface-1001 Sexy Kaito Shion -0

I headed to where Kiyo and Meiko were. Well I guess I'm going back to my villa… or going to a deserted island with a HUGE mansion. Anyways that would be decided at the KiyoCopter.

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**BTW Tenri means angel and no, the ring wasn't the excact shade of Miku's hair. So do you think Luka should appear in the next chappie? Anyways I'm really sorry I haven't updated for so long please forgive me. Please review, fave and follow!**


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